February 8, 2012
"Jason Statham will star in Heat, a remake of the 1987 Burt Reynolds film that Brian De Palms will direct from a script by the great scribe William Goldman."

Okay, a few questions. First of all, we all know that Heat is that terrible De Niro/Pacino movie that made me vomit a few years ago. So this is obviously a lie.

Second, Brian De Palms is directing? PROBABLY you mean De Palma, but I kind of prefer De Palms because De Palms didn’t make The Black Dahlia.

Third, William Goldman, the great scribe, writer of Dreamcatcher and Hearts in Atlantis. Cool!

Fourth, Jason Statham has his skill set, but he is NOT the new Burt Reynolds. You know who the new Burt Reynolds is? Actually, I don’t either. Someone tell me.

Fifth, whatever.